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my name is Genny Chia.

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How to Give Yourself The Closure You Need to Move On

live your thriving life mindset Jul 17, 2023

Hey there, beautiful soul! Today, we're diving deep into a topic that holds immense power—the concept of closure.

Have you ever found yourself caught in the waves of unresolved emotions, uncertain about the path to healing? Do you feel a lingering sense of unease or emotional weight that tugs at your heart? Unresolved situations or relationships can manifest in various ways, leaving a significant impact on our emotional well-being and overall life satisfaction. Here are some common signs that may indicate the presence of unresolved matters:

Lingering Emotional Distress
Unresolved situations or relationships often result in persistent emotional distress. You may experience feelings of sadness, anger, resentment, or even confusion. These emotions may surface unexpectedly or resurface whenever you encounter reminders of the unresolved matter.

Intrusive Thoughts and Rumination
When an issue remains unresolved, it tends to occupy our thoughts incessantly. You may find yourself constantly replaying memories, conversations, or scenarios related to the situation or relationship. The mind becomes fixated on finding answers, closure, or resolution.

Difficulty Letting Go
In cases of unresolved matters, letting go becomes a daunting task. You may struggle to release attachments to the past or to the person involved. There might be a persistent hope or desire for things to change or improve, even if the circumstances are beyond your control.

Lack of Acceptance
Unresolved situations often stem from an inability to fully accept what has happened or the reality of the current situation. There may be a sense of denial, resistance, or an ongoing struggle to come to terms with the events, decisions, or outcomes involved.

Interference with Present Relationships
Unresolved matters can spill over into your present relationships. You may find it challenging to trust others or form deep connections due to unresolved trust issues, emotional wounds, or conflicts. These unresolved matters can create barriers to intimacy and hinder your ability to engage fully in new relationships.

Stagnation and Lack of Progress
When situations or relationships remain unresolved, they can impede personal growth and hinder progress in various areas of life. The emotional weight of unresolved matters may leave you feeling stuck, unable to move forward, and limiting your potential for self-development.

Emotional Triggers and Sensitivity
Unresolved situations or relationships often become emotional triggers. Certain events, places, or even specific words or actions may bring back intense emotional reactions or memories associated with the unresolved matter. You may find yourself feeling more sensitive or reactive in situations that remind you of the unresolved issue.

Whether you've experienced a breakup, the end of a friendship, a career setback, or any other significant life change, finding closure is like giving yourself a gentle embrace and whispering, "It's time to heal and move forward."

We all know that healing takes time and is not always a linear journey. But trust me, by embracing the process of closure, you'll unlock a world of self-discovery, growth, and ultimately, inner peace.

So, why is closure so important? Well, think of it as the key that unlocks the door to your heart and allows you to bid farewell to the past, creating space for new beginnings. Pursuing closure is not about seeking external validation or approval. Instead, it's an internal process, a conversation you have with yourself, a decision to find resolution, understanding, and acceptance.

In the hustle and bustle of our lives, it's easy to overlook the significance of closure. We might try to push our emotions aside, bury them deep within, and carry on as if nothing happened. But, emotional wounds left unaddressed have a sneaky way of resurfacing when you least expect them. That's why granting yourself the closure you need is crucial for your overall well-being and personal growth.

Throughout this blog post, we'll explore practical steps and empowering strategies that can help you find the closure you seek. You'll learn to accept reality, embrace self-reflection, detach from the past, and practice self-care—all the while reclaiming your identities and setting your sights on a brighter, more fulfilling future.

So, grab your favourite drink, and let's embark on this transformative journey of finding closure, healing your hearts, and embracing the beautiful possibilities that lie ahead.

Debunking Common Misconceptions About Closure

Closure—a word that carries so much weight and significance in our healing journey. But have you ever found yourself questioning what closure truly means? When it comes to closure, there are several misconceptions that can cloud your understanding of this important concept. It's crucial to unravel these misconceptions to gain clarity on what closure truly entails:

Misconception #1: Closure means forgetting or erasing the past.
Truth: Closure is not about erasing or forgetting the past. It's about making peace with it. You don't have to dismiss or invalidate your experiences and emotions. Instead, closure allows you to acknowledge and honour the past while freeing yourself from the burdensome emotions that hold you back. It's about integrating the lessons learned and forging a new path forward.

Misconception #2: Closure has a specific timeline.
Truth: Closure is a deeply personal journey, and it doesn't adhere to a specific timeline. It's unique to each individual and can take varying amounts of time. Some find closure relatively quickly, while others require more time and self-reflection. There's no right or wrong timeline for closure. Give yourself permission to heal at your own pace.

Misconception #3: Closure means reconciliation or resolution with others.
Truth: Closure doesn't always necessitate reconciliation or resolution with others. It's about finding peace within yourself, regardless of external circumstances. While closure can involve conversations or apologies, it's important to remember that closure is primarily an internal process. You can find closure without the involvement or cooperation of others.

Misconception #4: Closure is a one-time event.
Truth: Closure is not a one-time event; it's a continuous journey. It's natural to experience waves of emotions even after finding initial closure. Healing is not linear, and it's normal to revisit certain emotions or memories. Closure is an ongoing process of self-reflection, growth, and self-compassion. Embrace the journey, and be patient with yourself as you navigate the twists and turns.

Misconception #5: Closure guarantees the absence of pain.
Truth: Closure doesn't necessarily mean the absence of pain. It's important to recognise that closure doesn't magically erase all pain or hurt. Rather, it equips you with the tools and resilience to cope with your emotions and move forward despite the pain. Closure allows you to find peace and acceptance alongside the pain, creating a space for healing and growth.

By debunking these misconceptions, you free ourselves from unrealistic expectations and allow a more authentic and empowering closure experience.

Unlocking Your Inner Peace by Giving Yourself Closure without Seeking External Validation

Have you ever felt the need for closure, only to find yourself searching for answers outside of yourself? We've all been there, seeking validation from others or hoping that circumstances will provide the closure we crave. On the quest for closure, we often find ourselves seeking validation from others or hoping that specific circumstances will provide the closure we crave. It's a natural inclination to desire an apology, recognition, or accountability from those who let you down, hurt you, betrayed your trust, broken promises made to you, or maybe maligned you. Do you find yourself:

Waiting for an Apology

How many times have you found yourself longing for an apology? You believe that hearing those two simple words, "I'm sorry," will take your pain away and bring you the closure you need. But here's the thing, true closure shouldn't be dependent on someone else's words. While an apology can be powerful and healing, you have to trust that you can find your own inner strength and healing regardless of external apologies. Waiting for an apology may keep you trapped in a cycle of expectations, hindering your own progress towards closure.

Expecting Accountability

It's natural to desire accountability from those who have wronged you. You hope that they will acknowledge their actions, take responsibility, and understand the impact of their behaviour. However, relying solely on others for closure can be a double-edged sword. While it's important for people to be accountable for their actions, placing your own healing solely in their hands can be disempowering. Closure comes from within, as you learn to validate your own experiences, heal, and grow regardless of whether others take responsibility, or not.

Seeking Recognition

You yearn for understanding and empathy, wanting others to recognise your pain and struggles. Seeking recognition and validation from loved ones is a natural part of our human experience. However, it's crucial to balance external validation with self-validation. While having others acknowledge our pain is comforting, we must also learn to validate ourselves. We can honour our emotions, acknowledge our experiences, and offer ourselves compassion. By cultivating self-validation, we become less dependent on external validation, empowering ourselves to find closure within our own hearts.

Waiting for Specific Circumstances

Oh, how often you find yourself waiting for that one specific event, hoping it will bring the closure you desperately seek. It could be a particular outcome, a change in someone's behaviour, or the resolution of a conflict. Placing your happiness and closure on external events can be a precarious path to tread. It's essential to remember that true closure isn't solely reliant on these circumstances. Instead, focus on your own growth and resilience. By cultivating inner strength and embracing acceptance, you can find closure even in the absence of specific circumstances.

Expecting an Explanation

The burning question of "why" can consume you in your quest for closure. You yearn for answers and explanations to make sense of difficult situations. While gaining clarity can be helpful, closure doesn't always hinge on having all the answers. Sometimes, you need to accept that not everything will be explained or understood. Closure comes from acknowledging your emotions (both negative and positive), embracing self-compassion, and allowing yourself to heal and grow, even without a complete explanation.

Waiting for others or specific circumstances to provide closure can prolong our healing journey and leave us feeling disempowered. By shifting our focus inward, we reclaim our strength, cultivate self-compassion, and embark on a path of healing and self-discovery.

And yes, the most empowering journey of closure begins within you. Allow yourself to take control of your healing and move forward with renewed strength and purpose. It is not about forgetting or suppressing negative emotions but rather accepting them and finding ways to move forward.

The journey of self-empowerment without relying on external factors outside of you and your control is powerful, giving you full control of your healing process. Instead of waiting for someone else to provide closure, you can work on finding it on your own terms. This can involve a range of activities such as journaling, therapy, meditation, self-care practices, and more.

Setting the Foundation for Closure to Gain Inner Peace

When we talk about closure, it's often intertwined with forgiveness and acceptance. While they are interconnected, it's essential to understand that they are distinct concepts in the journey of healing.

Understanding Closure

Closure is the sense of resolution or completion we seek when we experience a loss, disappointment, or the end of a chapter in our lives. It's about finding peace within ourselves and letting go of the emotional attachments to the past. Closure is personal, and as mentioned earlier, it doesn't necessarily require the involvement or validation of others. It's a process that allows us to heal, move forward, and create a healthy narrative for ourselves to achieve a positive outcome by putting our best foot forward.

Embracing Forgiveness

Forgiveness is an act of compassion and understanding towards oneself or others. It's about releasing feelings of resentment, anger, or blame and choosing to let go of the emotional burden associated with a particular event or person. Forgiveness is a powerful tool for healing, as it frees us from the negative emotions that can hinder our personal growth. However, it's important to note that forgiveness doesn't always guarantee closure. We can forgive someone without achieving the closure we desire, and that's okay.

Acknowledge All Emotions - the Good, Bad & Ugly

Seeking closure often stirs up a multitude of emotions within us. It's essential to acknowledge and embrace these emotions, even if they feel uncomfortable or overwhelming. Allow yourself to feel them fully, without judgment or resistance. Emotions are a natural part of the healing process, and by embracing them, we create space for growth and transformation.

Cultivating Acceptance

Acceptance is the act of acknowledging and embracing reality as it is, without judgment or resistance. It's about coming to terms with the things you cannot change and finding inner peace in the present moment. Acceptance allows you to shift your focus from dwelling on what could have been to embracing what is. While acceptance can coexist with closure and forgiveness, it's essential to recognise that acceptance alone may not always provide the closure you seek. You can accept a situation without feeling fully resolved or at peace with it.

In this journey of self-discovery, it is vital to embrace the emotions associated with the need for closure, practice self-compassion, and let go of self-blame, shame, and guilt. Let us explore these elements together, offering you the support and understanding you need.

Practising Self-Compassion

In the quest for closure, self-compassion becomes a nurturing balm for your wounded hearts. It involves treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and empathy, just as you would for a dear friend in a similar situation. Recognise your worth, and shower yourself with self-compassion. Be patient and gentle as you navigate this journey of healing and closure.

Letting Go of Self-Blame, Shame, and Guilt

When seeking closure, it's common to get caught up in self-blame, shame, and guilt. You may question your choices, actions, or the role you played in the situation or relationship. But it's important to remember that you are human beings who make mistakes and grow through experience. Release the burden of self-blame. Free yourself from the chains of shame and guilt. You deserve forgiveness and a fresh start.

Recognising Your Worth

In the ensue of closure, it's crucial to recognise and affirm your inherent worth. Remind yourself that you are deserving of healing, happiness, and a future unburdened by the unresolved past. Embrace the understanding that your worthiness is not defined by the outcome of the situation or the actions of others. You have the power to create your own narrative, one filled with self-love and self-acceptance.

Acceptance and self-compassion are the cornerstones of seeking closure and moving on healthily. Embrace your emotions, shower yourself with kindness, release self-blame, shame, and guilt, and recognise your worth. Be patient with yourself, knowing that healing takes time and that progress is made one step at a time.

Embrace acceptance and self-compassion as you seek closure, and remember that you are deserving of a life filled with love, happiness, and inner peace. Trust in your resilience, have faith in your ability to heal, and know that brighter days lie ahead.

It's essential to remember that the path to healing is unique for each of us. Some may find closure through forgiveness, while others may seek acceptance as a stepping stone toward closure. There is no one-size-fits-all approach. It's about understanding your individual needs, emotions, and desires and allowing yourself the freedom to navigate the journey in a way that feels authentic and true to yourself.

Illuminating the Path to Closure and Growth by Reflecting and Gaining Clarity

One powerful tool we can utilise is the art of reflection. By engaging in self-reflection, we can navigate the labyrinth of unanswered questions, gain valuable insights, and ultimately find the clarity we seek. Here's how you can embrace reflection as a catalyst for growth and healing on your journey towards closure.

Journaling or Seeking Therapy as Tools for Introspection

Consider journaling or seeking therapy as supportive companions on your journey of introspection. Journaling provides a safe space for you to express your thoughts, feelings, and reflections without judgment. Pour your heart onto the pages, and let the words guide you towards clarity. Similarly, therapy offers a professional and compassionate space where you can explore your emotions, gain insights, and receive guidance from a trained therapist. Both journaling and therapy serve as valuable tools to facilitate self-discovery and understanding.

I have written a blog post on 'Benefits of Journaling & 7 Tips to Start Journaling in 2023'. Click here to read more.

Encouraging Growth through Gaining Clarity about the Past

By gaining clarity about the past, you unlock the doors to growth and transformation. As you reflect on the situation or relationship, seek to understand the dynamics, patterns, and lessons that emerged. What can you learn from this experience? How has it shaped you? Embrace the wisdom that comes with clarity, knowing that it will empower you to make informed choices and build a brighter future.

Reflecting and gaining clarity is not about dwelling on the past but rather about integrating your experiences into your present and future. It is about untangling the knots that hinder your path to closure and embracing the insights that will guide you forward.

As you engage in self-reflection, journaling, or seek therapy, trust in the power of gaining clarity and seeking the facts and truth. Embrace the growth that comes with understanding the past and holds onto the hope that closure brings.

Nurturing Healing and Finding Peace with Closure Rituals and Practices

In our journey of seeking closure, incorporating rituals and practices into our healing process is a powerful and transformative way to find peace and resolution. Closure rituals, writing closure letters, and engaging in healing activities serve as catalysts for emotional release, self-expression, and inner healing. Let's explore why these practices are so important and how they can support us on our path to healing.

Creating Personalised Closure Rituals to Symbolise Endings

Closure rituals are deeply personal and meaningful acts that help us symbolise the end of a situation or relationship. They provide a tangible and intentional way to mark the closure we desire. By creating personalised rituals, we honour the emotions attached to the experience and create space for acceptance and healing. These rituals can range from lighting a candle and setting intentions to writing down thoughts and burning them or even performing a ceremony in nature. The key is to choose actions that resonate with your heart and provide a sense of closure and release.

Writing Closure Letters to Express Unsaid Thoughts and Emotions

Closure letters offer a powerful avenue for expressing unsaid thoughts and emotions. They provide a safe space for us to articulate what has remained unspoken and release the weight of unexpressed feelings. Whether you choose to send the letter or keep it as a personal practice, the act of writing allows us to process and let go. It grants us the opportunity to find closure by expressing ourselves fully and authentically, knowing that our words have been heard, even if only by ourselves.

Engaging in Healing Activities such as Meditation, Art, or Exercise

Healing activities are a cornerstone of the closure journey. Engaging in practices that nurture our mind, body, and soul creates space for healing and growth. Meditation offers a peaceful refuge where we can calm our minds, connect with our inner selves, and gain clarity. Art, whether it's painting, drawing, or crafting, becomes a channel for self-expression and processing emotions. And let us not forget the power of physical exercise, which releases tension, boosts endorphins, and supports our overall well-being. These healing activities provide us with a means to release, rejuvenate, and restore our inner balance.

Closure rituals and practices are essential because they offer us intentional and purposeful ways to heal and find resolution. They allow us to honour our emotions, express our innermost thoughts, and foster a sense of closure and completion. By engaging in these rituals and activities, we actively participate in our healing process, empowering ourselves to move forward with clarity, peace, and renewed strength.

Building Your Support System for Closure

Seeking closure can be a vulnerable and emotional journey. It's during these times that having a supportive network around you can make all the difference. Surrounding yourself with support not only provides comfort but also helps you navigate through the challenges and uncertainties along the way. You don't have to go through it alone. Building a strong support system can make a world of difference, and here's how you can do it:

Building a support system of friends, family, or support groups

One of the first steps to surround yourself with support is to build a strong network of people who care about your well-being. Reach out to trusted friends and family members who can provide a listening ear, offer advice, and offer a shoulder to lean on when you need it. Sharing your journey with those who love and support you can bring a sense of comfort and validation.

Consider joining support groups or seeking online communities where you can connect with individuals who have gone through similar experiences. Being part of a group that understands and empathises with your struggles can provide a safe space for sharing, healing, and gaining valuable insights.

While seeking closure, it's important to be mindful of who you share your pain and disappointment with. Although it's tempting to open up to everyone and seek validation from anyone who will listen, it may not always be a good idea. Here's why:

Lack of understanding
Not everyone will understand or empathise with your situation. Sharing your pain with someone who lacks the understanding or experience can lead to dismissive or unsupportive responses. This can further exacerbate your feelings of disappointment and leave you feeling invalidated.

Unsolicited advice
When you share your pain with everyone, you may receive unsolicited advice from well-meaning individuals who may not have the expertise or knowledge to provide meaningful guidance. This advice can be confusing, contradictory, or even harmful, causing more confusion and distress.

Judgment and gossip
Unfortunately, some people may not have your best interests at heart. Sharing your vulnerabilities with everyone opens the door to potential judgment, gossip, and the spread of your personal information. This can lead to further pain and discomfort, hindering your healing process.

Emotional energy drain
Sharing your pain with too many people can drain your emotional energy. Constantly reliving and retelling your story can keep you stuck in a loop of negative emotions, making it harder to move forward and find closure. It's essential to conserve your emotional energy and focus it on healthy ways of healing.

Quality over quantity
Instead of seeking validation from everyone, it's more beneficial to prioritise quality over quantity when it comes to support. Identify a few trusted individuals who genuinely care about your well-being, understand your situation, and offer a safe space for you to express your emotions. Sharing your pain with a select few who truly empathise can provide the understanding and support you need on your journey towards closure.

Seeking professional guidance from therapists
Sometimes, seeking professional guidance can be incredibly beneficial when seeking closure. Therapists are trained to provide unbiased support, guidance, and strategies to help you navigate through difficult emotions and find closure in a healthy way. They can provide you with tools and techniques tailored to your specific needs, offering a fresh perspective and helping you develop a deeper understanding of yourself.

Professional guidance is particularly helpful if you find yourself facing complex emotions or if the journey towards closure feels overwhelming. Therapists can offer a non-judgmental space for you to express yourself and work through any challenges you may encounter along the way.

Surrounding yourself with support is vital when you're seeking closure. Building a support system of friends, family, or support groups create a safe space where you can share your emotions and experiences. Seeking professional guidance from therapists adds an extra layer of expertise and understanding to your journey.

Remember, you don't have to face this journey alone. There are people out there who genuinely care about your well-being and want to support you every step of the way. You deserve the love, understanding, and encouragement that comes from surrounding yourself with a supportive network.

Achieve Closure and Inner Peace Through The Power of Moving Forward

When it comes to seeking closure, one of the most important steps is to allow yourself to move forward, even if it's taking one tiny weeny step at a time. Here's how you can help yourself move forward:

Accepting That Closure Is a Process and May Take Time

First and foremost, it's crucial to acknowledge that closure is not an immediate destination but a journey. It may take time to fully let go of the past and find inner peace. Be patient with yourself and allow the healing process to unfold naturally. Understand that closure is a personal experience, and there is no set timeline for it. Embrace each step along the way, knowing that every small progress is a step towards a better future.

Focusing On Personal Growth and Setting New Goals

As you let go of the past, shift your focus towards personal growth and setting new goals. Use this opportunity to rediscover yourself, your passions, and your aspirations. Reflect on the lessons learned from the past and channel that knowledge into creating a future that aligns with your values and dreams. Set achievable goals and take small steps each day to work towards them. This will not only give you a sense of purpose but also help you move forward with a renewed sense of direction.

Would you like to learn how 'How to Effectively Set Goals and Milestones'? You may click here for my blog post on goal setting.

Embracing New Opportunities and Creating a Fulfilling Future

Closure opens up doors to new opportunities and possibilities. Embrace these opportunities with an open mind and a willingness to explore. Be open to new experiences, meet new people, and try things you've always wanted to do. Surround yourself with positivity and seek out activities that bring you joy and fulfilment. By focusing on the present and building a fulfilling future, you allow yourself to let go of the past and create a life that brings you happiness.

Remember, letting go and moving forward is a personal journey, and it's okay to have ups and downs along the way. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and be gentle with yourself when facing setbacks.

While I understand that the length of this blog post may seem daunting, please know that it was crafted with your best interest in mind. I wanted to provide you with a thorough understanding of closure and equip you with the necessary tools and insights to navigate your own journey. Once I started writing, I realised that anything less wouldn't do justice to the topic of finding closure and providing the resources and action steps you need to design your path moving on. I also wanted to provide you with a comprehensive guide that covers not only the action steps but also the deeper meaning and significance behind each step.

Explaining all the points in detail is essential to offer a complete and holistic approach to closure. It's important to understand that seeking closure is not just about following a checklist of tasks. It involves a profound emotional and psychological process that requires introspection, self-compassion, and personal growth. By delving into each point, I aim to provide you with a comprehensive understanding of how these aspects interconnect and contribute to your journey of closure.

Seeking closure is a transformative growth process, and by embracing it wholeheartedly, you can create a brighter and more fulfilling future for yourself. Keep an open heart and mind as you absorb the information shared here, and trust that you have the strength within you to embrace your journey towards closure and a beautiful life ahead.

Believe in yourself, for I believe in you. Don't let any setbacks or challenges hold you back from living the best life you deserve. You are beautiful, resilient, and capable of finding the closure you seek. Embrace this transformative journey, and may it lead you to a place of healing, growth, and inner peace.

Love,

The content of this website is not meant to substitute any advice provided by medical professionals. If you suspect that you're facing mental-health related problems, you're strongly encouraged to seek professional help.

 

 

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