Another January. Another list of resolutions.
By February, most of them are abandoned. By March, you've stopped thinking about them entirely.

The standard narrative is that you lack willpower. That you're not committed enough. That you just need to try harder next year.

But what if the problem isn't you—it's how you've been taught to set goals?

After years of teaching Design Thinking and psychology, and working with high-achieving women through my image consultancy, I kept noticing the same pattern: people who are incredibly capable struggle to create lasting change in their personal ones.

Not because they lack ambition. But because most goal-setting frameworks are fundamentally broken. They skip the critical foundation—self-awareness—and jump straight to ambition. They assume motivation is sustainable. They ignore the structure of your actual life.

So I created the Intentional Year Audit, a framework that flips the traditional approach. Instead of starting with what you want to achieve, you start with understanding yourself first.

Here's what I've learned about why goals fail—and what actually works instead.

The Problem With "Dream Big"

We've been conditioned to believe that bigger is always better.

Set ambitious goals. Reach for the stars. Go big or go home.

But here's what nobody tells you: monumental goals don't automatically create fulfilment.

You can achieve everything on your list and still feel empty two weeks later.

I've seen this countless times. The promotion that was supposed to change everything doesn't. The income milestone that promised security just raises the bar higher. The recognition you worked toward feels hollow once you get it.

This isn't ingratitude. It's arrival fallacy—the mistaken belief that achievement will finally make you feel complete.

The Gap Between Achievement and Meaning

Achievement validates your competence. It proves you're capable. It builds confidence in specific areas.

But it doesn't automatically create meaning.

Meaning comes from alignment—when what you're working toward actually reflects your values and moves you closer to the life you want to live.

The problem isn't ambition itself. It's ambition without alignment.

When you pursue external markers (the title, the salary, the recognition) without checking whether they connect to what you personally value, you end up building a life that looks successful but doesn't feel fulfilling.

A Better Filter

Before committing to any goal, ask yourself two questions:

1. Why does this matter to me beyond the achievement itself?
2. How would reaching this goal change the quality of my daily life?

If you can only answer with external outcomes—"I'll earn more," "I'll get promoted," "People will be impressed"—pause.

That's not necessarily wrong. But it's incomplete.

Goals that sustain you have both external achievement and internal meaning. They create progress in the world and satisfaction in your life.

Without both, you're setting yourself up for accomplishment without fulfilment.

The "Ideal Self" Trap

Here's the second mistake I see constantly: setting goals for a version of yourself that doesn't exist.

You decide you're going to wake up at 5am every day—even though you've never been a morning person and you're already chronically sleep-deprived.

You commit to daily workouts—even though you're already running on empty and your evenings are when your energy crashes.

You plan to write for an hour every night—even though your brain shuts down after 8pm.

And when these goals inevitably fail, you blame yourself for lacking discipline.

But the real issue isn't discipline. It's that you designed goals for an idealised version of your life, not your actual one.

Person-Environment Fit

There's a concept in psychology called person-environment fit—the idea that fulfilment and follow-through increase when what you're trying to do actually matches how you naturally function.

When you ignore your natural rhythms, energy patterns, and current capacity, you're fighting upstream. You're relying on constant willpower to override your default wiring.

That's exhausting. And it's unsustainable.

The Cost of Repeated Failure

Here's what happens when you keep setting goals that don't fit your life:

One abandoned goal becomes two. Then five. Then a pattern.

And slowly, you stop trusting yourself.

Each failure reinforces a belief: "I'm someone who doesn't follow through."

That belief becomes the lens through which you see yourself. It shapes what you think you're capable of. It determines what you even attempt.

And that's the real cost—not the specific goal you didn't achieve, but the gradual erosion of self-trust.

Start With Awareness, Not Ambition

The solution isn't trying harder. It's designing goals that work with your life instead of against it.

Before you commit to anything ambitious, get clear on three things:

1. Your energy patterns: What actually energises you? What drains you? Look at the evidence from the past year, not your assumptions.
2. Your current capacity: What's realistically sustainable given your actual life right now? Not the life you wish you had—the one you're living.
3. Your leverage point: What one change, if implemented, would create ripple effects across everything else?

Awareness isn't procrastination. It's the foundation that makes everything else possible.

The Motivation Myth

The third mistake: waiting to feel ready.

"I'll start when I'm motivated." "I just need to get in the right headspace." "I'll do it when things calm down."

Weeks pass. Months pass. And you're still waiting.

Here's the uncomfortable truth: motivation is unreliable.

It's an emotion. It fluctuates based on sleep, stress, hormones, whether you had a good day or not—factors largely outside your control.

If you're depending on motivation to drive action, you've built your entire system on quicksand.

Willpower Is a Finite Resource

Research on self-regulation is clear: willpower depletes throughout the day.

When you leave important tasks until the end of the day—when you're most depleted—you're asking your weakest self to make your hardest decisions.

That's why "I'll go to the gym after work" rarely happens. Not because you're undisciplined, but because you've structured the decision for failure.

Design Environments, Not Rely on Willpower

What actually works: behavioural design.

Instead of relying on willpower, you remove the need for it. You structure your environment so the next step is obvious and easy.

Instead of: "I'll work out when I feel like it" Design: Lay out your workout clothes the night before. Put your gym bag in the car. Remove every decision point between waking up and starting.

Instead of: "I'll journal when I have time" Design: Put your journal on your pillow. You can't get into bed without moving it.

Instead of: "I'll eat healthier" Design: Prep vegetables on Sunday. Make the healthy choice the default choice. Don't keep junk food in the house.

You're not changing your willpower. You're changing your environment so willpower isn't required.

Identity Follows Action, Not Vice Versa

Most people think you need to feel like a runner before you start running. That you need to identify as disciplined before you can be disciplined.

It works the other way.

Action shapes identity more than intention does.

You become a runner by running—even if it's just 10 minutes, three times a week. You become disciplined by taking small, consistent actions that build evidence of follow-through.

The behaviour comes first. The identity follows.

So stop waiting to feel ready. Start so small you can't fail. Let repetition do the work.

What Actually Works: A Different Approach

Most goal-setting frameworks are built backwards.

They start with ambition and hope motivation carries you through. They assume you know what you want without teaching you how to figure it out. They ignore the structure of your actual life.

That's why they fail.

The Intentional Year Audit flips this approach:

Step 1: Honest review of your past year 

Step 2: Energy pattern recognition 

Step 3: Clarity on what actually matters 

Step 4: Aligned action 

It's not faster. It's sustainable. And sustainability is what creates lasting change.

You Don't Need More Discipline

You need better foundations.

The reason your goals keep failing isn't because you're lazy, undisciplined, or uncommitted.

It's because you've been using a framework that skips the critical work of self-awareness, ignores your natural operating patterns, and relies on motivation instead of structure.

Now you know what's been blocking you—and what actually works instead.

You can take what you've learned here and apply it yourself. Or you can use the complete framework in the Intentional Year Audit, which walks you through each step with guided exercises and reflection prompts.

It's free. It's evidence-based. And it's designed for people who are tired of drifting and ready to build a year that actually feels fulfilling.

Access the Intentional Year Audit on my website.

You've been busy long enough. It's time to be intentional.

What's one thing you're going to do differently this year? Leave a comment—I read every one.

All my best,