Most of us reach December with a vague sense of where the year went. We remember the highlights—the holiday, the promotion, the major life events. But the texture of our actual days? The patterns that shaped how we felt week after week? Those remain frustratingly unclear.

This guide walks you through a structured process for reviewing your year using actual data rather than selective memory. If you've watched the accompanying video, you'll know why this matters. Now let's focus on how to do it effectively.

What You'll Need

Before you begin, gather these resources:

1. Your digital calendar (the past 12 months)
2. A notebook or digital document for observations
3. 60-90 minutes of uninterrupted time (or break it into three 20-30 minute sessions)
4. Your bank/credit card statements (optional, but revealing)

Set aside time when you're alert and reflective, not exhausted. This isn't admin—it's strategic work that deserves your full attention.

The Five-Pass Review Method

Rather than trying to analyse everything at once, you'll review your calendar five times, each with a different lens. This prevents overwhelm and surfaces patterns you'd otherwise miss.

Pass One: Time Allocation Audit

What you're looking for: Where your hours actually went.

Open your calendar to January and scroll through month by month. Don't analyse yet—just observe and categorise.

Create four columns in your notebook:

1. Work commitments (meetings, projects, deadlines)
2. Personal obligations (appointments, errands, admin)
3. Social time (gatherings, calls, events)
4. Discretionary activities (hobbies, rest, creative projects)

As you scroll through each month, tally the rough time spent in each category. You're not aiming for precision—you're looking for proportions.

Questions to ask:

• Which category dominated your calendar?
• Were there months where one area completely overtook the others?
• What's missing that you assumed was present?

Common discoveries: Many people find they had far fewer discretionary hours than remembered, or that "urgent" obligations consumed time they thought was going to important projects.

Pass Two: The Invisible Drains

What you're looking for: Recurring commitments you've stopped noticing.

This time, focus specifically on repeated calendar entries. Reports and meetings are essential work—the question is whether they're serving their intended purpose.

Look for:

1. Meetings with unclear outcomes: The weekly team meeting that everyone attends but no one can articulate how it advances the division's objectives and key results
2. Reports that perform rather than inform: The monthly report that looks comprehensive but obscures actual progress, or worse, presents inflated metrics that don't reflect reality
3. Standing commitments on autopilot: The coffee catch-up that's become obligation rather than connection.

The issue isn't the activity itself—it's the gap between what it claims to deliver and what it actually delivers.
Make two lists:

List A: Recurring Commitments I Kept

• Note the frequency and total time investment
• Mark which ones felt automatic vs chosen

List B: Recurring Intentions I Abandoned

• What kept appearing then disappearing?
• What did you keep rescheduling?

Questions to ask:

1. Which recurring commitments would you genuinely miss if they vanished?
2. Which ones are you keeping out of guilt, obligation, or inertia?
3. What pattern emerges in the things you consistently cancelled?

What this reveals: The gap between your stated priorities and your revealed priorities. You might claim writing is important, but if you rescheduled it 40 times whilst never missing the Thursday meeting that drains you, your calendar tells a different story.

Pass Three: Energy Mapping

What you're looking for: Which activities energised you versus depleted you.

Your Energy Labels: CF, E+, E-

Throughout this review, you'll mark activities with three simple codes:

CF (Currently Fulfilling)

This means it energises you, aligns with what you value, you'd choose it again, and it moves you closer to the life you want, helps you thrive at work and motivates you to become the person you want to be.

E+ (Energy Positive)

It might be challenging work, but it leaves you feeling alive and capable. The effort feels worth it.

E- (Energy Negative)

This drains you. You'd avoid it if you could. It pulls you further from the life you're trying to build, not closer to it.

Watch for deceptive energy signals:

Some activities feel energising in the moment but don't serve your actual goals. These are energy leaks disguised as wins and here are 2 examples:

Conference highs that lead nowhere: That three-day event felt exhilarating with inspiring talks and networking buzz, but did it move you closer to your objectives? Or did you return with a notebook full of ideas that never translated into action? The energy spike was real, but if it didn't advance your OKRs or align with your priorities, it was borrowed energy—not sustainable fuel.

Toxic alliances built on gossip: Some people may make you feel righteous and energised through the intimacy of shared complaints and criticism of others. The bonding feels real in the moment—finally, someone who gets it. But notice what happens after these interactions. Do you feel clearer and more grounded in making wise decisions in that situation? These relationships offer the hollow energy of drama, not the solid energy of genuine connection. If someone consistently bonds with you by tearing others down, personal opinions that attack others coming from a space of insecurity and condemnation hidden as "I'm just being honest...", and "Just you know..." especially when these messages are not anchored in truth. They're not building alliance—they're building dependence on toxicity.

When you're energy mapping, distinguish between activities that gave you a temporary high versus those that left you genuinely resourced. The former might need to move from E+ to E- in your assessment.

Pass Four: Pattern Detection

What you're looking for: Behaviours and situations that repeated without your conscious awareness.

This is where the year's shape becomes visible. Look across all 12 months for:

Repeating Conflicts:

1. Did the same complaint appear in different months? ("Too busy," "No time for myself," "Behind on everything")
2. Were there recurring tensions with the same people or projects?

Seasonal Patterns:

1. Did certain months consistently overwhelm you?
2. Were there times of year when you felt more aligned?

Decision Patterns:

1. When did you say yes despite wanting to say no?
2. When did you prioritise others' agendas over your own?
3. When did you choose comfort over growth, or vice versa?

Energy Leaks:

1. Which activities felt productive or energising but didn't actually advance your objectives?
2. Where did you invest time in relationships built on negativity rather than genuine support?
3. What looked like networking or professional development but yielded no meaningful outcomes?

Unmet Intentions:

1. What goals from January never materialised?
2. What "next month" promises did you make repeatedly?

Create a list titled: "Patterns I'm Ready to See."

Write down three to five patterns that emerged. Be specific. Not "I'm too busy" but "I consistently overcommit in September because of back-to-school energy, then crash in October."

What this reveals: The structural issues underneath your surface frustrations. You're not lacking willpower—you're caught in invisible patterns that need redesigning, not more discipline.

Pass Five: The Overlooked Moments

What you're looking for: Small moments that mattered more than they seemed.

This final pass is about nuance. You're searching for the quiet activities that sustained you—the ones that didn't photograph well but left you feeling like yourself.

Look for:

1. Activities you almost cancelled but that left you unexpectedly fulfilled
2. Ordinary moments that felt surprisingly restorative
3. Times when you felt authentically present, not performing
4. Small wins you've already forgotten
5. Mark these with a star or a different colour. Then study them.

Questions to ask:

1. What conditions were present in these moments?
2. Were you alone or with others?
3. Were you creating, moving, resting, connecting?
4. What was absent that's usually present?

What this reveals: Your blueprint for fulfilment. These overlooked moments show you what your nervous system actually needs, stripped of "shoulds" and social expectations.

Cross-Reference with Your Financial Data

Here's an optional but illuminating step: review where your money went.

Your bank statements reveal priorities your calendar might miss. Subscriptions you forgot you had. Regular purchases that became invisible. The difference between what you intended to value (gym membership) and what you actually valued (takeaway coffees with a specific friend).

Look specifically for:

1. Subscriptions still running for services you stopped using
2. Spending patterns that contradict your stated values
3. Money spent on convenience vs experiences
4. Investments that paid off in wellbeing vs those that didn't

The question: If someone reviewed only your spending, what would they conclude about your priorities?

Synthesising Your Findings

Once you've completed all five passes, it's time to distil what you've learned.

Create three lists:

1. More Of
What deserves more space in your calendar next year? Be specific about the conditions, not just the activity.

Not: "More time with friends" But: "More Tuesday evening dinners with Anna and James—small group, meaningful conversation, no agenda"

2. Less Of
What are you ready to release, reduce, or redesign? Again, specificity matters.

Not: "Less stress" But: "No more saying yes to networking events I attend out of obligation—they consistently drain me without generating opportunities I value"

3. Differently
What stays in your life but needs different boundaries, timing, or structure?

Not: "Better work-life balance" But: "No work email after 7pm or on weekends—my evening calendar blocks need to be as protected as my meeting slots"

The Reflection

Before you close this review, answer two questions:

1. What one word describes how your year actually felt to live?

Not what it looked like on social media. Not what you accomplished on paper. How did it feel day to day?

Write it down. Sit with it. This word contains data.

2. What two to three words do you need to carry into the new year?

These aren't aspirational words from motivational posters. They're grounding words that will anchor your decisions when you're tempted to drift back into old patterns.

Words like: spacious, honest, aligned, intentional, clear, enough, present.

Write them somewhere you'll see them regularly. These are your decision-making filters.

In Summary

This review gives you something most people never have when they set goals: accurate data about what actually works for you.

You now know:

1. Where your time actually went (not where you think it went)
2. What energised you versus what depleted you
3. The patterns you've been unconsciously repeating
4. The overlooked moments that deserve more space

This isn't the end of the process—it's the foundation. The next step is designing a year around these insights rather than generic goals that ignore your actual needs and patterns.

But that's for next time.

For now, you've done the hard work of seeing clearly. And you can't design an intentional year until you've seen the unintentional one honestly.